The Christmas Santa Went Around the World With A Tourist Guide

Because he travelled to so many different places, Santa was very good at languages. He knew how to say "Hello" in twenty alternative ways. The only trouble was that Christmas us usually such a tiswas, he sometimes got muddled up. He drove so fast globally, that he often forgot the day ! (and in what language he should then ask the way !). When he reached wherever he was going, Santa spoke in a strange accent, without even knowing ! In the South Pole, people weren't used to foreigners from the South Pole (other than the occasional mole !). Naturally, they didn't like strangers, at all. Of Course, Santa being from Santaland far away, there was none stranger (including the phrases for the thing she had to say !). The reindeer, too, seemed a little odd, for a "No" instead fo a yes, Rudolph gave a nod ! Hardly surprising, therefore, that Santa got lost (he was farther away from home than most !). Santa's linguistic problem became much worse, when Santa started singing in a choir, of course. When Santa's sleigh bells rang, all the Christmas angels sang (except in different languages, all the words were wrong !). With a song so long, Santa soon ran out of breath, and his high notes weren't that strong. Inevitably, he said "Dong ! Ding !", when he should have said "Ding ! Dong !". As his awful pronunciation grated, the situation left Santa exasperated. Translating "Ho ! Ho ! Ho ! Happy Christmas, Here we go !", took longer than anticipated. Flying through the clouds, he studied his phrasebook, as he sleigh circum - navigated. But still Santa's version of "We wish you a Merry Christmas" in Swahili, still wasn't at all that well - rated. Globe - trotting was great, but knowing what the billions of people who lived in the world were all saying was a task that Santa really did hate. Rather than get any more irritated, with unreadable signs, instructions that he didn't understand and confusing directions, Santa decided to employ a tourist guide to help with his present distributions and collections. Hopefully, then Santa would get to other side of the world more quickly on his yearly sleigh ride, no matter how wide. Instead of learning linguistics, everyone expected Santa to be performing his usual tricks (but since he didn't have much time left, he really would have to be quick !). Whilst Santa learned a new language, he hoped that none of the world's children would mind having to wait : Santa still had to discover what in Outer Mongolian means "Please remember to close the gate !). Santa invited each of the gnomes to apply for the job of tourist guide. The third candidate in the queue was Santa's favourite elf (you know who !). The elf who Santa decided to give the job, was a particularly talkative elf called "Bob" ... who said that he could speak ... Russian and Prussian ... French and knew the Swedish for bench ... Portugese whilst eating Swiss cheese ... Spanish and in Latin how say "fish" ... English as well as the Chinese word for delish - and Italian (well, - ish !). Santa was impressed with his qualifications, (most useful when, the the 26 th December, Santa had to make it around each and every nation ! Meanwhile, as Christmas Eve approached, when Santa was getting ready for his round - the - world trip, he practised his knowledge Arctic and Antarctic conversation (though his dialogue took a little dip !). He packed a picnic lunch for the postal - team to crunch, as well as a guidebook that showed all the places where they could buy a coastal ice - cream to munch. A map, a compass, a woolly scarf, too, since Santa knew that in the Southern hemisphere, the temperature could drop to minus two hundred and two. Off they set, but as the wind blew, over Africa instead of Australia the sleigh accidentally flew. How mis - guided ! Now Santa didn't have a clue where everyone resided ! Even the sleigh seemed lop - sided, as one by one, a gift fell into the Outer Space (and into a Christmas tree, Santa collided !). The gnomes helped Santa read the labels on each gift, though finding everyone was difficult especially in a snowdrift ! By Midnight, Santa could hardly see at all, so he stopped for a rest. In fact, it's amazing that the sleigh even made it home in tact. Needless to say, the tourist guide was hopeless - they headed East instead of West !

**** Hotel Activity

What do you think is good about out hotel for a Christmas trip ? If you were Santa, why would you want to stay here ? Imagine that you are Santa - where might you go and what might you find to do ?

© Jacqueline Richards 2008