The Christmas Santa Took A Wrong Turn Towards the Black Hole

One Christmas, Santa was late. When the turkey was taken out of the oven he wasn't there - there was only an open gate. Everyone in the grotto asked, "Where's Santa ?", but nobody seemed to know. The last that they'd seen him, he'd disappeared over the hedgerow. In walked Astro Sputnik, from an adventure in outer space ... where he'd been rather busy, rescuing the human race ! The Astro crew and Santa, of course, were the best of friends. Usually, one directed the other, when they veered around the wrong bends ! Very often, they met in between planets, somewhere a billion miles away. Astro Nomical frequently advised Santa how to most easily circum - naviagate the Milky Way, to get home for dinner on Christmas day. Astro Sputnik remarked that he'd bumped into Santa on the other side of the Moon. When asked where he was going, Santa said he'd try and make it home soon. Santa veered around Saturn and headed off towards Mars. It was only when Jupiter came in sight, that he realised he recognised none of the stars ! Had he turned right at the right planet ?, Santa wondered in dismay. He knew that on Mars, there was no Bed and Breakfast, where he could stay. Planet Genius was easier to orbit than most, though Santa knew it didn't have a single signpost. He was lost - he didn't know which way to go and was fast using up the sleigh's petrol, directionlessly zooming to and fro. Still, nothing could be greater, tourism over each of the Moon's crater (he was sure that he'd get back on track sooner or later !). Wow ! what a flight, although in the dark of the night, Santa couldn't see further than his nose - it was quite a fright ! He squinted to see if that helped him focus at all ... then, slowly, snowfall, as the Astro buggy began to stall. Suddenly, there was an eclipse of the Sun telling the space crew that in the battle of the universe, they had won. Not even one meteorite sparked in the dark so Santa couldn't see which was he was going - left or right, he had no way of knowing ! That's when something appeared in the sky - a UFO, that seemed to wobble and fly. Santa took a closer look - it was hole, which started to suck. The power of the hole's gravity - less orbit, drew Santa further and further away from Earth. It's force was so strong, that nothing much happened, when he tugged for all he was worth. Three million miles, below on the ground, Santa spotted Perth as the spaceship span round and around ... then a minute later, he was flying over Firth ! It was a black hole, where nothing else lived except an Astro mole. Soundwaves began to reverberate, as the Astro crack in the universe began to inflate. No wonder, getting back to the grotto, Santa was late ! The Christmas that Santa took a wrong turn towards the Black Hole, was just like Santa's sleigh had scored a rock 'n' roll goal ! Although there was no atmosphere, it was the best place on the sleigh to slip into fifth gear ... and Christmas lasted a whole light year ! "Oh ! Blow !", Santa exclaimed, as the spaceship sleigh stopped in the snow. In the Cosmos, there's not much gravity to keep things pinned down. So as the whole universe was flown, one by one, the gifts from the sleigh began to be blown. The entire sleigh began to rattle so much, Santa thought that he had a broken clutch ! This was a great way to deliver presents to children all over the world - distributed through a black hole, as the entire universe swirled ! Half of the presents landed in France, then some more in Africa, too ... about a hundred were found in the Amazon jungle and a few more in London zoo. As across South America, Santa's spaceship flew, even more presents blew. The world's excitement grew and grew. Although the presents did take a little while to land, one by one, for everyone, something dropped into the world's sand, thrown from Santa's hand, with a little help of the Christmas fairy's magic wand. This year's Christmas present delivery, was just like a NATO peace - keeping mission. Santa announced where he'd be flying next, in an Astro - airwaves transmission. From the North to the South Pole, talk of Santa's generosity reverberated. All around the globe, his arrival was anticipated. People cheered as they viewed Santa drive from the rocket station, over every nation. Although some people commented that perhaps Santa did need a driving test, they welcomed him warmly, as he drove from East to West ... and the rest. Before long, all the peoples of the world joined in and knew of this great fellow, coming out of their homes just to call "Hello !". Although the world's people often lived on different sides of the street, in the middle, they met half way, chatting as friends, along the way. Someone had a great idea - to hold hands and start a Mexican wave, that soon began to sway. In order to be seen from outer space, everyone joined in from the human race. From Santa's viewpoint, a billion miles away, it seemed like the whole of Earth moved the same way that day. Of course, to ensure that they were properly heard, all mankind had to agree in what they wanted to say. "Peace" was the word and (though it may sound absurd), for one day, that was what for everyone in the world was assured.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008