The Christmas Santa Learned to Ride A Bicycle

One Christmas, Santa was half way to Australia, when his sleigh suddenly experienced engine failure. Santa didn't know what was the trouble - but the engine started to over - heat and the oil started to bubble. Before he knew it, he was in a puddle and Christmas had never been such a muddle ! It was no good - Santa didn't know what to do - he was stuck in five inches of snow and his motor just simply wouldn't go ! Santa tied a rope to the bumper and the other end to the sleeve of his red and white jumper. As Santa tugged, the carburettor chugged, "Utterly hopeless !", in exasperation, he shrugged. The engine spluttered and the exhaust fluttered ... but still it did not go. Below, there was a gush of petrol overflow and another heat plug began to blow. As Rudolph the reindeer took a break, Santa considered how to make it over to the lake. The rain poured and the weather looked bleak - teo get to the other side of the world would probably take over a week ! Then, as Santa sat upon the roadside fence, something happened miraculously - by sheer coincidence. Along came a postman, a friendly fellow, who was so busy that he hardly had time to say "Hello !". He noticed Santa and waved (though he did wonder why he was so low !). Like Santa, the postman had a number of things to deliver urgently, also (and sometimes, likewise, ended up in tow !). Santa explained his dilemma - the problem was the tyres (which had split) and beneath the bonnet, something needed to be re - wired - "Could he do it ?!, Santa asked, "Did he perhaps have another that could be cheaply hired ?!". Santa noticed the postman's fantastic wheels - it occurred that perhaps they could do one of Santa's automatic deals. Since the bicycle had real appeal, Santa decided to steal it, then turned upon his heals. When the postman popped down the path of number seven, he rode away on the bicycle, crying that he'd return it by eleven. In fact, the road was bumpy and so uneven that Santa almost fell off, onto a present in his booty bag, for a boy called Steven. As Santa set off on his stolen bicycle - sledge, he quickly slipped over the pavement edge. He glanced, just about avoiding falling into the hedge, to see the postman resting on the post office window ledge. When the postman looked around, the town was peaceful - cars passed in the snow, without a sound ... but his bicycle wasn't anywhere to be found. He'd have to get a bus back home, as he looked into his pocket for a spare pound - but all he found was a comb. The only clue was a broken lock that the postman found on the ground, of course, which was a shock ... he still had a parcel to deliver a around the block but by now, it was getting late - it was well past ten o ' clock ! Immeadiately, the postman realised what had been done, he hollered "Stop !" and started to run - but the thief was gone ! He looked for a phone box to call 911 but there was none. Now how would he despatch all these hundreds of letters ? (they weighed a ton !). Christmas wasn't turning out to be that much fun ... then around the corner, on a bicycle Santa spun. Although the bicycle was wobbly at first, Santa was determined to keep trying and exercised so much that he thought he would burst ! Santa's pedals rotated so fast, before long he was in Amsterdam exclaiming - "Rotterdam, at last !". The next time that he looked, he was cycling next to a tram and a canal boat went past ! The Christmas that Santa learned to ride a bicycle, everyone in the grotto ended up in a real pickle. The bicycle just didn't ride in the direction that it should - perhaps with two straight wheels, proper steering and a bell it could ! Santa crashed into Mrs. Christmas's food cupboard, instead of heading off into the wood. Although Santa tried peddling as fast as he could, he still somehow crash landed in grotto garden mud. Half way up one Alpine mount, Santa found that he had to dismount. He still had to carry more presents than he could count (but with no means of transport, perhaps all the children of the world would ask for a discount !). Back in the office of the postal mail, the Post - Chief sent out a search party on the postman's trail. The rescuers followed the print of Santa's bicycle tyres along the track - that went all the way around the world and back ... Just like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, a thousand miles away, there was Santa sat on his sack ! He did have a present left : a new cycle helmet, that he hadn't given to anybody because the strap was too slack. Luckily, it hadn't matter that the tie was snapped, because Mrs. Christmas always sent Santa out in the cold well - wrapped. A very big "thank - you" was all Santa wanted to say - he was really grateful to the postal service for saving Christmas Day but instead of a handshake, the Post - Chief chased him away ! Having had a million children try to call, to inquire the whereabouts of their presents, had driven him up the wall so the Post - Chief wasn't happy at all ! Instead Santa took a present from the back of the sleigh, a bicycle bag, originally intended for a boy on the other side of Norway. The postman agreed, it was a perfect gift - now, he wouldn't have to wobble, cycle, sing as well as lift ! all with a far lesser chance of falling into the snowdrift ! Santa was greatly sorrowed, to hand back the bicycle he had borrowed. He only hoped that the postman hadn't missed it too much (or that he didn't mind the slutch). Since the ride had been great, Santa hoped the postman didn't object to his Christmas present being late ! Santa pumped up the tyres, the minute that he noticed a puncture hissing and gave the postman a new sleigh bell (the only thing that from the bicycle was missing, Santa concluded, which the manufacturer had apparently excluded). After circum - navigating the globe, calling out, his voice was hoarse, of course, from bellowing "Watch out ! You're in my way, get out !". Santa had rang his enormous sleigh bell from the handlebars, so his arrival had clout, without a doubt ! Although the route was originally uncharted, that's how the tradition of travelling around the world started - with a postman chasing Santa as he hastily departed !

© Jacqueline Richards 2008