The Blind Bat

There was once a bat who flew so much in the night hours that he went completely blind (as a bat, so to speak !). No - one really knew why he was as blind as a bat - perhaps he had lost his glasses or they were eaten by a cat. His blindness caused his no end of inconvenience and squint as hard as he could ... he couldn't even see the tops of the branches, or the other side of the wood ... When the blind bat tried flying over the trees, he landed in a twig - I guess it must have been his poor eyesight ... or perhaps his fallen down wig. He collided into tree trunks and crashed into fences as well - try as hard as he could, to get from the wood, how far it was, he couldn't tell. Not only could he not tell the way, he was so hopelessly blind that he couldn't tell morning from noon or night from day. At breakfast, he fried an orange instead of an egg and toasted the cereal box instead of bread ... When the blind bat went to get milk from the doorstep, he ended up in the shed instead. He couldn't quite make out why the tea tasted so strange - until he saw that he had added a spoonful of salt instead of sugar - and stirred it the wrong way. When he baked a cake - it was of course, upside - down cake ! He even accidentally put dirty washing in the dishwasher and saucepans in the bread bin. The blind bat was so blind that he sat for three hours in front of the washing machine clicking the remote control before he realised that it wasn't the television ! The blind bat tried keeping himself busy with games - but his hopskotch was a hotpotch, his jigsaw puzzles left everyone puzzled and his knitting was all knotted. Like the blind bat's nest, his garden was inevitably a sight for sore eyes - utter chaos ! The blind bat misplaced the spade and mistakenly trimmed the hedge using the pruner - the lawn was all wonky - and the daffodil bulbs upside - down.

The blind bat contacted the optician about contact lenses and went for an eye test (after he had stopped off at the Post Office, the supermarket, the grocers' and the butchers' shop before he found the right door !). His eye test results, of course, were quite poor - because he couldn't see the exam paper and he wrote on the table top instead of the paper ! His new spectacles were very fashionable - they gleamed in the sun and before long the blind bat was back to reading everything in sight - newspapers, crossword puzzles and novels. That was, until he lost his spectacles - perhaps they had slipped off in the bath, or down the drainpipe whilst he was gardening.

So next the blind bat bought a pair of binoculars - which did help him see the tops of the trees but he was so busy looking through them that he didn't notice a car coming and CRASH ! His binocular lenses shattered into smithereens. He asked his friend, the wise old owl to buy him a telescope for his birthday - and the blind bat spent hours gazing at the stars in the universe. He could now much more easily spot the brightest star, gleaming in the night sky. But what the blind bat didn't know was that the telescope was hired on loan and after a week the bailiffs came to take it away again - he was back to where he started, being as blind as a bat again.

Blind As A Bat Spelling Game

The blind bat was so blind that he got lost ... and flew from these words - can you help make them complete again by adding ... BAT ? The asnwers are below.

acro ... ... h ...tle ...hroom ...tleship ...ique ...ter ...tledore ...tleship ding... ...ch ...her ...hing costume ... hos ...sman

Batty Recipe

Chocolate Waffles

Ingredients

3 cups flour

1/2 tablespoon salt

2 tablespoons baking powder

2/3 cup cocoa powder

2/3 cup sugar

4 eggs

3 1/2 cups milk

1 cup oil

In a large bowl mix together dry ingredients and set aside. Then slightly beat the eggs and mix together with the milk and oil in a separate bowl. Add to the dry ingredients and mix together but make sure you don't overmix. Pour approximately 1 cup at a time into a waffle iron in bat wing shapes and cook according to directions. Serve with fresh fruit and pure maple syrup.

© Jacqueline Richards 2005