The Baby Chimpanzee

The baby chimpanzee was an ugly fellow. Like most jungle animals, he wasn't much to look at. He was quite a comical chap, in fact. His mother and her orang-utan friends tried to console him somewhat - reassuring him with Hans Christian Anderson stories about the ugly duckling. They bet their bottom dollar the baby chimpanzee would one day win the Mr Universe competition. "Don't judge a book by it's cover", advised the cheetah wisely, "It's not what the creature looks like, but what's inside that really counts". "Like someone's heart ?" quizzed the baby chimpanzee, "And added. The baby chimpanzee blushed - "That must be the warm tea inside ... or perhaps someone has lit a match in me". As the baby chimp gazed at himself in the swampy pond, looking puzzled and perplexed, he noticed the fish gurgling bubbles and wondered if they had swallowed washing up liquid or had drank too much fizzy pop. His reflection showed a wrinkled brow and many spots. Hairs bristled from his chin and his ears were protruding. His nostrils were so big that his nose could hardly fit between his cheeks and the chimp's milk teeth were mostly crooked. He heard the chattering of crocodile's teeth in the distance - it had obviously eating gobstoppers. During the following months, the baby chimpanzee pondered the matter somewhat. His consternation caused him considerable complexity. Just like all other families in the universe, at breakfast, Daddy Gorilla poured milk from a jungle jug onto a bowl of crunchy snap, crackle and pop, asking the baby chimpanzee what he thought must be inside a cow - his reply : "Vanilla milkshake, of course !" (since it frothed, shook and got all churned up). During his daily walkabout, swinging in the branches of the jungles trees, the great questions of the universe became a source of fun and frolics - a quiz game of inner and outer. The spider's web which glistened with dewdrops in the rays of the sunlight gave the baby chimpanzee an idea. "Arggh ! Tarantulas be full of chomped up chewing gum !", the chimp realised. Parrots showed off their winged feathers colourfully - quite a pretty paint box picture outside which underneath must be multi - coloured sherbet. beneath him, snakes slid on the ground through the jungle grass and quite obviously liquorice. That morning, he met the lion cub for a game of soccer - as they knocked a ball about - they bounced some ideas around in their heads on the topic of what animals looked like inside. "Perhaps Mr Lion's heart is chocolate - it melts so easily in the Saharan sun", suggested Mrs Lioness, much amused at the chimp's childish pranks. "Then cheetah's must be made of marshmallow" added the lion cub (since they could so easily spring up the branches of the trees. A giraffe's head poked above the leaves - obviously baked souffle as he could rise so easily. Across the field, sheep were grazing - their woolly coats clearly showed to the chimp that their inners must be balls of wool. The baby chimpanzee examined his belly button - he couldn't spy much - fat wobbled and his fluffy fur fuzzed - what else but candy floss !

Impish Chimpanzee Championship

Add either "IMP" or "AMP" to these words to complete them.

p ___ ___ ___le

s ___ ___ ___le

l ___ ___ ___light

s ___ ___ ___licity

ch ___ ___ ___ion

postage st___ ___ ___

cl___ ___ ___ed

shr___ ___ ___

picnic h___ ___ ___er

s___ ___ ___le

r___ ___ ___

sk___ ___ ___

ch___ ___ ___anzee

ch___ ___ ___ionship

sh___ ___ ___poo

c___ ___ ___ing

l ___ ___ ___

st___ ___ ___ed on my toe

t___ ___ ___ered with the scoreboard

tr___ ___ ___le

d ___ ___ ___, drizzly day

Recipe Funny Face

Ingredients

Potatoes

Ketchup

Raisins

Olives

Grated cheese

Cut the potato in half and pour ketchup for the mouth. For the hair, add grated cheese which you can grill to give a toasted brown look. Put raisins for the eyes and olives for the nostrils, eat and enjoy.

© Jacqueline Richards 2005

Answers : pimple simple lamplight simplicity champion postage stamp clamped shrimp picnic hamper sample ramp skimp chimpanzee championship shampoo camping limp stamped on my toe tampered with the scoreboard tramp dam, drizzly day